Continuing my 1st Blog

Today would of been my birth father's bday. Happy bday dad! I have'nt been doing as well as I would like to be. One of the worst things is not knowing what is gonna happen. Fear of the future crumbling. After 4 yrs of injured mess after mess, I have been looking forward to the new me. I feel in good spirits although all this is going down hill again, Between the state not paying my school dues, and the school having a complicated registration process, these too huge players in my life are killing me I swear.


Back to my birth father for a moment. When I was 4 I lost him to suicide. It has been something my whole life I have had to overcome, why? what was that point of no return he felt? what's my aunts and uncles like? Loosing my Grandma whom I am named after was another bad moment a few years later on. I normally go and seek a sunset or sunrise every 4/4 but this yr it isnt so sunny today nor is it a good day. Maybe I havent lost it completely due to the fact I believe these too are here to watch out over my little brother and I. It will all work out. Listen to your gut. The two things I keep repeating.

Texas March 24 2011

So instead of a sunset on this day I am gonna dedicate my most recent vacation's sunrise in Texas in 2011. I sat on a bench and reflected on what was going on around me and watched as the biggest sunrise I have ever seen.

So with a happy note off to call the school to pay for my future that I once promised and signed for that Washington state will help me out with 14 thousand for school. What a way to start a quarter.

My 1st entry for the yr before 30

     I don't know why I am calling it the yr before 30 but something in me told me to name this new chapter just that. My journey to where I am at at 29 has been a struggle. Living back at home in a small town no longer than a mile, and you don't see anyone out after 5 pm. Its quiet hard if you can believe it or not.

Just a quick over view of my past 4 yrs.

• My dad dying
•  Injured
• Surgeries
• Rehab (17 P.t's)
• 3 Month rehab in another town.
• 2 lawyers 
• 2 case workers
• A nurse case manager
• Vocation manager
• Loosing a Best friend
• A break up 
• A last but not least the new start of my life SCHOOL!!

Peninsula College with a view of Hurricane Ridge.

That's it Peninsula College. 

The Best thing in my life at the moment. 

     I don't wanna drag out the past for that is not what I am writing about and journal-ling. So lets get on with the good stuff. Recently I am having a issue with my enrollment of my third quarter. But nothing a lawyer cant fix. Fall and Winter quarter were great learning and growing experiences. Each one I learned a great deal in. Fall quarter I conquered the fear of entering school again at the age of 29. 

I did not dream of going to school at this age well at least not this late of a start. I tried really hard to get into school last spring of 2010 it just was not something that could be done. Something else about the 1st quarter, I learned alot about self dedication and if I wanted a better outcome of learning and the grades to match, I would have to try harder. The 2nd quarter I did just that. 

I walked into the math lab looked at my new older instructor, with the hearing aides, I told him " you will see me in here every day at least a hour or more. I want to beat my 2.8. The struggles of math 72 with the hardest teacher I had had yet was a up and down roller coaster and a personal struggle to keep sane. 

But in the end I kept that promise applied what I had observed  the quarter before, and conquered with a 3.6!!!!

Learning to love math!

Along with a 4.0 in Human Resources. A 3.5 in E Commerce.