Monday, April 4, 2011

Continuing my 1st Blog

Today would of been my birth father's bday. Happy bday dad! I have'nt been doing as well as I would like to be. One of the worst things is not knowing what is gonna happen. Fear of the future crumbling. After 4 yrs of injured mess after mess, I have been looking forward to the new me. I feel in good spirits although all this is going down hill again, Between the state not paying my school dues, and the school having a complicated registration process, these too huge players in my life are killing me I swear.

Back to my birth father for a moment. When I was 4 I lost him to suicide. It has been something my whole life I have had to overcome, why? what was that point of no return he felt? what's my aunts and uncles like? Loosing my Grandma whom I am named after was another bad moment a few years later on. I normally go and seek a sunset or sunrise every 4/4 but this yr it isnt so sunny today nor is it a good day. Maybe I havent lost it completely due to the fact I believe these too are here to watch out over my little brother and I. It will all work out. Listen to your gut. The two things I keep repeating.

Texas March 24 2011
So instead of a sunset on this day I am gonna dedicate my most recent vacation's sunrise in Texas in 2011. I sat on a bench and reflected on what was going on around me and watched as the biggest sunrise I have ever seen.

So with a happy note off to call the school to pay for my future that I once promised and signed for that Washington state will help me out with 14 thousand for school. What a way to start a quarter.

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